May 2000 newsletter Pg 2

Page 2

FORGIVENESS, con't.

The following are groups working to increase our understanding of Forgiveness and its important role in our world today.

You will find more information on them on our Educational Groups pages where they are listed. Or you may use the links below and go directly to their website.

forgive_research.gif (6846 bytes) Campaign for Forgiveness Research

tutu_time.gif (10421 bytes)

"Forgiveness is the key that can unshackle us from a past that will not rest in the grave of things over and done with. As long as our minds are captive to the memory of having been wronged, they are not free to wish for reconciliation with the one who wronged us."

Lewis B. Smedes

To find out more about The Campaign for Forgiveness Research go to their webpage at: http://www.forgiving.org/

The Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance is a non-profit, tax exempt educational foundation dedicated to the establishment of the first global holiday,International Forgiveness Day, the first Sunday of every August.

From the Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance:

What forgiveness is not:

FORGIVENESS IS NOT SIMPLY FORGETTING.

1. Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending it didn't happen. It did happen, and we need to retain the lesson learned without holding onto the pain.

2. Forgiveness is not excusing. We excuse a person who is not to blame. We forgive because a wrong was committed.

Ghandi_Animation1_bf16.gif (4177 bytes) 3. Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful behaviors; nor is it condoning the behavior in the past or in the future.

4. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We have to make a separate decision about whether to reconcile with the person we are forgiving or whether to maintain our distance.

Source: Dr. Shirley Glass, Ph.D., licensed psychologist and marriage and family therapist Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance

http://www.forgivenessday.org/

International Forgiveness Institute

Established in 1994 as a private, non-profit organization, the International Forgiveness Institute was an outgrowth of the social scientific research done at the University of Wisconsin-Madison since 1985 by Robert Enright and his colleagues. Professor Enright was looking for a way to disseminate the findings of that research, and the research and writings by others exploring forgiveness, to interested people in all walks of life. The IFI has served as that forum ever since.

From the International Forgiveness Institute website:
A DEFINITION OF FORGIVENESS

Based on Philosophical, Traditional (Hebrew, Christian, Islamic, Confucian, and Buddhist traditions, among others), Psychological and Developmental principles. Gleaned from a large survey of readings, professional dialogue, and stories of forgiveness written by volunteers.

1. What it is:

Moral
It is a response to an injustice (a moral wrong).
It is a turning to the "good" in the face of this wrongdoing.

Goodwill
Merciful restraint from pursuing resentment or revenge. Generosity or offering good things such as: attention, time, remembrances on holidays. Moral Love or contributing to the betterment of the other.

Paradoxical
It is the foregoing of resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer's actions deserve it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not deserve them. As we give the gift of forgiveness we ourselves are healed.

Beyond duty
A freely chosen gift (rather than a grim obligation). The overcoming of wrongdoing with good.

2. What it is not:

Forgetting/Denial
Time passing/ignoring the effects of the wrongdoing.

Condoning
Nothing that bad happened. It was only this one time. It won't happen again.

Excusing
The person did this because.....it wasn't really their responsibility.

Condemning
She/he deserves to know they have wronged me. "Forgiving" with a sense of moral superiority.

Seeking Justice or Compensation Forgiveness is not a quid pro quo deal--it doesn't demand compensation first.

3. Important Distinction:

Forgiveness: One person's moral response to another's injustice

Reconciliation: Two parties coming together in mutual respect

International Forgiveness Institute

To learn more about this group to their site at:

http://www.forgiveness-institute.org

International Fellowship
of Reconciliation

The International Fellowship
of Reconciliation

(IFOR) began on the eve of war.
In 1914 two 'enemies' -
a British Quaker and a German Lutheran
- committed themselves to working
for peace, no matter what their
governments might do.

IFOR members remain committed to the search for nonviolent alternatives to conflict - and to addressing injustices which lie at the root of conflict.

To learn more about this group go to their website:

http://www.ifor.org/

..

The Fellowship of Reconciliation is the largest, oldest interfaith peace and justice organization in the United States. Since 1915, FOR has carried on programs and educational projects concerned with domestic and international peace and justice, nonviolent alternatives to conflict, and the rights of conscience.

To learn more about the work of the group go to their website at:

http://www.forusa.org/

The Catherine Blount Foundation
"A Journey of Light"

The mission of The Catherine Blount Foundation is to facilitate the teaching and demonstration of the healing power of forgiveness so individuals, groups and governments can attain "the change of perception" that will allow them to heal old hurts and injustices and find peace. The ultimate goal of The Catherine Blount Foundation is a peaceful world.

http://www.catherineblountfdn.org/

The following buttons will take you to a site that donates to several worthy causes each time you come to their site and click on one of the buttons. 100% of the money from the sponsors goes to the causes we click on.